Reflection + no = hell yeah
— 2 min read
Yes is the most overused word in my vocabulary. I say yes to almost anything a friend or colleague needs. Pet sitting, time consuming and out of scope work requests, hang outs that I don’t want to attend.
Why do I say yes so much?
Because I want to be seen as someone reliable and interesting. But being reliable and saying yes aren’t mutually exclusive.
In November 2023, I found myself with a severe traumatic brain injury that impaired my cognition, balance, and memory. I was a (barely) walking shell of the person I was just 24 hours prior.
I had to stop everything.
No work, video games, exercise, screen time, music, or reading. I laid in bed coming in and out of sleep for 24 hours a day for the first week.
As I got better, I spent hours a day writing in my journal. Any thought that came to mind was written down and I’d explore it.
My thoughts became clearer each day. I felt in tune with my mind and body for the first time.
One day I sat down and made a list of the things I liked. I revisited this list constantly throughout my 10 week recovery. The list decreased each time I went back to it. What I ended up with was a list of things I genuinely enjoyed.
Reading, alone time, hanging with my girlfriend, long walks, playing video games, yoga, journaling, painting, and deep learning.
The realization crept in that there were things I thought I loved but I was just doing out of habit.
One item in this list was a volunteer role I’d been doing for three years. The joy I once felt for the role was gone and replaced with frustration over internal politics and stalled activities.
Why do something that frustrates me? I dreaded returning to it. So I'm stopping.
With more free time available, I signed up for an art class so I could paint more. Painting wasn’t a hobby I had before the concussion. I fell in love with it during my recovery. And now I’m making the time to paint by cutting out the activities that don’t make me think “hell yeah.”
Reflect on how you spend your time. Be honest with yourself. What you learn may surprise you.